Thursday, June 18, 2009

Taking Care of Myself

After my rant and self-bashing post, I realized that I needed to take a step back and put things into perspective.

What I discovered was that I am making strides. I am getting upset with myself for the past 6 months. I mean, it's only been 6 months that I have had answers to why I've have felt so awful for the past 8 years and know the root cause (in my opinion) to the PCOS, and all my other issues.

For any normal person, just getting a diagnosis that they have high blood pressure or cholesterol problems is a shock. But I was diagnosed with something that requires a complete and permanent change in lifestyle. I have to cut out 4 major food groups from my diet - all knowing that number could increase as we do more testing. So I have to realize that this will take time to learn and modify 34 years of habits.

I've had 3 doctors ask me what can I eat if I have to cut out foods containing gluten, casein, soy and yeast. They then say "it's hard to cut out just one of those groups, much less all four". What I tell them, is that I can eat any and all meats, fruits, and vegetables - no marinades, no processed foods, but that I have plenty of options. And you know what? I do have plenty of options!

I have discovered that I am not alone. I have found an entire "gym" (love my CrossFit buddies) that willingly follow this program - and not because they are intolerant, but because they believe this is the correct way to eat - Paleo. I have found blogs and message boards, and support groups with others in my shoes. Some have one intolerance they live with, others have 20!

I have discovered that I have amazing team of doctors. Of the doctors I've visited, only one has been completely resistant to the lab results. From what I've researched, this is uncommon. My PCP is excited to have "someone who does their research" and has ordered tests for Vitamin Deficiencies (for the malabsorption) and has referred me to a GI Specialist for additional testing. And it's because my infertility doctor agreed I was exhibiting signs of a Gluten Intolerance did I get tested in the first place. First doctor that I presented my symptoms... when most take years of presenting their symptoms for someone to finally agree and help them out.

Last but not in all the least, I have discovered that I have an amazing husband, as well as a great support system with family and friends. My husband does as much research as I do. He's always trying to find new recipes for us to try. Without my asking, he cleaned out our pantry of most of the offensive foods. He goes grocery shopping - and even checks the labels. He is, by far, one of my strongest advocates and is there to back me up when needed. Most of my family is there 100% for support, offering recipes and books to read. Others are supportive, but not understanding - this will come in time.

Now to only discover that I can do this. Reflecting on where I was just a year ago, frustrated over a sunburn that turned into psoriasis, and where I am today, having all the answers, I realize that I can do this. I was set and determined to find answers - so much so that I spent hours and hours researching and reading and researching more that I found my answers. I now need to take these answers and apply them.

So... with that said I CAN do this! I WILL do this. I will reclaim my health. I will reclaim my enthusiasm and vibrance. I will conquer this inner brat, and stop being self destructive. And as the quote on my calendar says today...

"Know first, who you are; and then adorn yourself accordingly." -Epictetus

Enough is Enough!! I've had it....

I've had it with myself that is. I am tired of this self-destructing behavior! I'm not sure where this comes from? Am I afraid of succeeding? What is going on in this stupid brain of mine?!

I wrote on here 3 weeks (yes, 3 weeks) ago that I was starting back on my plan (I have decided to call it that... it's easier). So I bought the Paleo Diet book and read it in one day! I was gung-ho on starting back... excited to be jumping back on the plan. The plan of course to rid my food of anything that's not good for me. Again, this isn't to just loose the 70-80 pounds I have to loose - this is to rid my body of the evils that keep making me sick. You know... the gluten, casein, soy and yeast.

So I did great for week 1. I tracked all my meals (even the bad choices) on Livestrong, making sure to have equal portions of good carbs, fat, and protein. Even making sure I was getting in at least 64 ounces of water in each day. I lost 4 pounds (and not just water weight) that week. Then something happened... I fell off completely and within 1.5 weeks, I've gained back those 4 pounds + one (nice huh?).

It, of course, doesn't help that I haven't been able to get my time at CrossFit. This stupid sprained ankle isn't getting better (8.5 weeks and counting). I'm back in Physical Therapy so I'm hoping that will start to strenghten and heal, but 2 weeks in, things are still status quo on the healing front - and some days are just as bad as the first 2 weeks after I sprained it. I have gotten in 2 workouts this week at CrossFit, but when you're lifting weights and not able to get the little extras in, those don't seem to matter much.

So here's the deal... I am back to my daily headaches (most of the days they are here all day), feeling run down marathon exhausted, eating Tums & Pepto Tabs like they are candy, feeling iritable & moody (sorry David), bloated, etc. Urgh! I hate feeling like this!!!!

The Makings of a Family | Desenvolvido por EMPORIUM DIGITAL