I am not F'ing Delusional !!!!

So, this post is going to be me venting about some deep rooted frustrations I have at the moment.

Back in December 2008, when I was diagnosed with an intolerance (allergy, sensitivity, whatever you wish to call it), to Gluten, Casein and Soy, I had a moment of "Great! Now I know what's been behind all my issues, including the one for not being able to become a Biological-Mom during these many many years." I was even met with some great support and words of encouragement, by the most important people in my life, as well as some surprising sources.

Quick Side Note: I had met with my Fertility Specialist, OB/GYN, and Primary Practitioner (who was concerned with the amount of times I was in his office each year for sinusitis and bronchitis.) And even though they didn't have the proper tools to test, they agreed that I need to be tested for Non-Celiac Gluten Intolerance. I found the lab to do the tests, sent off my samples, received the results that it was not only Gluten and Casein, but also Soy - never expected the last one. Anyway... you may continue reading my rant now....

It's because of one of these past-supportive sources that I went to a GI - recommended, because "they know everything, they're an expert." However, what I was met with at the doctors office was a complete opposite reaction. Instead of having a doctor go through my symptoms, and truly listen to my complaints and to go through my results, I was met with something that caused a severe mental block to my desire to go forward and conquer.... he actually uttered the words "You're just delusional. But if it makes you feel better to not eat those foods, then that's all I can say. You're not Celiac" (I never mentioned I WAS!!! or that I had an inkling!! I already knew this because my Primary did his job and ran those blood tests!!) But that doctor left the room with me literally crying to his nurse practioner... trying to understand what just happened. A minute later, he screamed at his nurse to follow him because he needed her with another patient.

The next 12 months was met with me battling my truth. It was hard for me to commit, knowing that someone (who was supposed to be in a respectable / influential position) had called me DELUSIONAL!! It took me until this past February, a sprained ankle that took 8 months to heal, a horrific battle with the swine flu / severe bronchitis, another bout of a double ear infection, sinustis and bronchitis (all in 2 months), and other health issues for me to realize and come to terms that I am NOT DELUSIONAL!! And the more that I denied my findings and ingested the poisonous ingredients, the more my body would react and take longer in healing.

With that said, I have been 100% faithful to my program for 5 weeks now. I still have some great support, but the two support tiers that I need the most aren't there. They have followed the mentality of the doctor... that I am in fact delusional and that I am just on some fad diet to lose weight.

But you know what!? I don't need your f'ing support.... I have faith in myself, my creator, the doctors that have supported me and my test results, my other genuinely supportive people in my life and most importantly, my amazing husband. And with that, since you don't want to believe and trust in me, I can no longer surround myself with the negativity until I have mastered this DRASTIC lifestyle change... and undo 35 years of damage that those poisonous ingredients have caused me. So until then keep your invitations and delusions about me to yourself!

I am STRONG and I will learn to live with this....

BEER: How I love thee.... (and it's GF)

I have never been a beer drinker. I enjoy my fruity drinks, and my Citron Vodka & tonics. Don't take me wrong. I have drunk beer in the past, but it's not my usual MO. With that, my favorite beer to date was Corona (I know, most people reading this would cringe at the fact that this is beer, but for me it was).

Now, having to go Gluten-free, I broke up officially with beer during our annual New Years (aka: reliving our college years when we could stay up all night playing drinking games) trip. It was the last time I had a beer, and I was sure that I was going to have to resort to drinking vodka & tonics for the rest of my life.

However, I just tried my first ever Redbridge - a fabulously wonderful concoction made by Anheuser-Busch. I liken it to a Strongbow, but not as fruity. Instead of barley, it uses a gluten-free product: Sorghum Hops.

As I finish my 2nd beer (ok, I admit 3/4 of the first beer went into my Irish Cabbage and Potato soup I made for St Paddy's Day),I figured I'd declare and announce my new love.... Here's to you Redbridge!!

Challenge: Week Two Wrap-Up

I can't believe it's been a week since I've last posted something. I was supposed to post every couple of days during my challenge, but this week has been insanely busy (which is a good thing).

Exercise
Last week I started back with my exercise program. I am working my way up to being back at CrossFit Addiction. Before I can get back there, I need to first find a job (urgh) and then make sure my endurance and strength is back to where it was before I injured myself. So, this week, with my wonderful workout partner (my husband) we started following CrossFit's Beginner program. I can't run due to previous ankle and knee injuries, but the elliptical has been a great replacement. I am also rotating into the schedule The Bar Method and Amy Bento's Kettlebell Dynamics Workouts (both on DVD).

Exercise Results for the Week: 4 days = 2 hours 32 minutes = 2431 calories burned

Support Groups and Speakers

While doing research last week, trying to find more blogs and recipe ideas, I discovered that Dr. Stephen Wangen was going to be in town. He was speaking at the Atlanta Metro Celiac Support Group (a chapter of the Gluten Intolerance Group) Saturday morning. So, naturally I grabbed my support (my husband) and we headed out to hear this expert speak. I have followed Dr. Wangen's blog for some time, and have found valuable information from him. So, to have the honor to hear him speak, and get a signed copy of his book "Healthier Without Wheat", was an honor, and something we couldn't pass up.

If you haven't heard of Dr. Stephen Wangen, he's worth the time to research. Here are some links....his blog... IBS Treatment Center... and the Center for Food Allergies.

Food
I have done amazing on the program this week - even eating out twice this week. I have found that making meal plans for the week that include breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks has been a HUGE tool to my success. The other was cleaning out the refrigerator of anything remaining that was not safe.

Recap and Stats
So here's a recap of the week....

• All of my meals, including the ones I had at Joe's Crab Shack and Longhorn Steakhouse, have been free of any gluten, soy and casein
• I am doing amazingly great without caffeine. I've had a few headaches, but they are improving.
• My water intake has improved greatly since last week. I am hitting my 64 ounce mark everyday, and starting to surpass that amount, making my way to the 72-100 ounces I have as my daily goal.
• As the first part of my post states... I was able to start exercising again this week, and I'm having great results.
• And... I lost another 2 pounds!!!!

And an update of my stats...

Height: 5 foot, 1/2 inch (yes, I count this half-inch)
Starting Weight: 214.5
Current Weight: 210.5
Weight Lost to Date: 4 pounds
Starting BMI: 41.9 (ouch!!!)
Current BMI: 41.1
BMI Change to Date: down .8 points
Pants Size: 18-22
Shirt Size: XL, 1X or 14-16

I feel like I have made great strides this week. I have learned more, and am finally feeling a peace settle through me. And that is a pretty amazing feeling.

So with that... Here's to continuing on my journey to become a Healthier, Stronger, Skinnier version of myself (basically rediscovering who I used to be).

Challenge: Week One Wrap-up

This post comes a few days past the end of the Week 1, but has lots of successes none-the-less.

Back on February 22nd, I made a commitment and challenge to myself to start living within the confines of my intolerances to certain foods: gluten, casein, and soy. I've made this commitment several times to myself, but something was always holding me back. Even though I would feel much better, it always seemed I struggled - even with the gusto of the beginnings of a new week, and a new chance. This time things seemed different.

I felt more empowered, felt like I finally had the support and resources I needed, and a determination to finally claim my life and my health back from the things that hold me hostage: the exhaustion, the headaches, the sicknesses, the pains, the uncertainty of not being able to be a biological-Mom, and even worse the hope and faith that I was starting to lose what my heart desires most.

So, after making a my declaration on Facebook and embarrassingly admitting what I currently weigh, I embarked on my journey. Now a week into my journey, this is how things are going....

•  All of my meals, including the one I had at Ted's Montana Grill, have been free of any gluten, soy and casein
• I was able to cut out caffeine 3 days earlier than I had originally intended
• My water intake needs some major improving. There were many days where I didn't get in the base minimum water (64 ounces), much less what I need to have on a daily basis to support my weight and exercise habits
• Due to debilitating headaches that I suffered from the initial detoxing, I didn't get any exercise into my routines
• And... I lost 2 pounds!!!! 

Update of my stats...

Height: 5 foot, 1/2 inch (yes, I count this half-inch)
Starting Weight: 214.5
Current Weight: 212.5
Weight Lost to Date: 2 pounds
Starting BMI: 41.9 (ouch!!!)
Current BMI: 41.5
BMI Change to Date: down .4 points
Pants Size: 18-22
Shirt Size: XL, 1X or 14-16


There is still much to improve on, but I feel like I have a solid foundation now to continue on with this journey. The next few weeks will have it's challenges, but I feel that those challenges will be more positive than negative, and that with those challenges, I'll see great success.

So with that... Here's to becoming continuing on my journey to become a Healthier, Stronger, Skinnier version of myself (basically rediscovering who I used to be).