Day 5 and Counting....

After months of denial and self destruction, I finally decided to stop making excuses and get back on plan. So last Wednesday night I had my last "non-safe" meal and haven't looked back. But unlike past resolutions to start my plan - it didn't come from a "last night" binge, or with lots of fanfare. It came in quietly - with me deciding as I was at Whole Foods, that this was it. That it was time. Time for me to finally make the changes and start taking back control. And this time, things feel completely different! They feel right... I don't have any fears or anxiety about situations. Yes, I have to make sure that I'm prepared, and I will have a few slips here and there, but I'm not overwhelmed like I've been in the past. However, detoxing from the "evil" food (as I like to refer to them) was not as pleasant as my decision...

Day 1 was about as bad as it could get. I won't lie. By mid afternoon, I had a vicious headache, one that forced me to leave the office at 3:30. By the time I got home, it had only gotten worse. I was in bed by 8, and woke up with a migraine a few hours later. I'm not sure how much good sleep I got, but I think around midnight, my headache had dulled enough for me to fall asleep.

Day 2 started off with a headache, thankfully not as bad as Day 1, but by the afternoon had started to go away. This of course was replaced by mood swings (David is a Saint for putting up with these). David and I met with a mortgage consultant, and afterwards had planned on going shopping - however, neither of us had discussed dinner plans - which for someone who can't eat Gluten, Soy, Casein and Yeast - is a bad thing. Finally, after getting frustrated (me) I just decided the best thing was to be home (of course, since this was a mood swing moment, it wasn't as sweet and nice as I write here). After continuing my temper tantrum, I had dinner... and it was off to an early bedtime - 9:30 this night.

Day 3 was supposed to be a productive day of house cleaning. However, after being a slug for most of the day, I finally decided we needed to get out of the house to improve our day, and to do damage repair from my tantrums the night before. So at 4:30, we both got dressed and headed to Perrywinkles to look at some potential birthday presents for me (Staxx rings - they rock!) and to look at some new houses (in case the one we're looking at falls through). Then we had a great dinner at Five Guys (sans bun or cheese - the management even cleaned the grill before they cooked my hamburger so there wouldn't be any cross contamination... cool, huh!?).

Day 4... With the harder of the days behind me, I woke up to great expectations for what I wanted to accomplish. My plan to clean house all day backfired, again, because of my slug mood, however, around dinner (which was a late 9:15 safe-pancake dinner) something came over me... By the time I had gone to bed, all the dishes had been washed / sink scrubbed... I had created my Control Journal (see FlyLady.net)... and I was looking forward to the week ahead. The biggest change today though, was the sense of calm that had finally settled around 10. This calm that there wasn't going to be other trials or tribulations to start my program. That this was the time that it was going to work.

And that brings us to today... Day 5. I have been more productive today than I've been in quite some time (actually since last December when I kicked the "evil" foods the first time). I washed and dried a load of towels while getting dressed. I finished an audit that I have been working on at work (half-heartedly) for the past 6 weeks, and I am looking forward to my next project assignment. As for my mood... I feel happy, energized, and excited! I feel like I'm rediscovering my old self - so much so that I'm going to an DZ Alumni Open House tonight!

Yep... Things are different this time! And I'm can't wait to enjoy the ride...